I'M BACK

I stopped blogging and visiting Facebook several years ago and now have decided to have another go at both. I have not entered a blog for so very long. I just lost interest and had so many health issues that somehow blogging seemed to be the last thing on my mind. And you know how it is - you stop doing something and suddenly it is no longer a part of your life. I stopped playing the harp because I had rotator cuff problems and couldn’t hold it. But that was a few years ago and I still don’t play. I want to get back to that. Maybe getting back to blogging will spur me on. So I don’t know how long it will last this time but I will give it another go. Much has happened. I will try to bring you up to speed but it is going to be piecemeal and over time. First, the most important change is that I now have a wonderful little grandson. He will be 15 months on June 9th. He is beautiful. I don’t get to see him often as we live far apart but Esther sends me pictures and videos frequently and I am so very grateful for that. My health has been a trial. I no longer drive. My Left leg became unable to control the clutch on my standard transmission car so I sold it through my wonderful mechanic. His nephew (age 40) bought it so I know it will be cared for. He apparently really loves her. I loved my old sweet car and had never planned to sell her but when I could no longer drive her…. I still drive when I can. I can manage an automatic transmission just fine. My dear friend Peter (I will talk about him in another post) lets me drive him to the airport and keep his vehicle - a Dodge Grand Caravan - while he is away on vacation. I had it for two weeks last year and a month this year. I am always so grateful to have it. I do not abuse his generosity, I use it only for shopping or medical appointments. I had not seen my dentist for over a year so I made appointments as soon as I knew when I would have the vehicle. I found that I really didn't use it much so I guess I really don't have a need for a vehicle. Not as long as I have great friends who take me out. When I turned 65 last year I lost a lot of my income. I did have my pension and disability CPP and long term disability insurance. But as soon as I turned 65 I lost the LTD and the disability part of the CPP. Now I have my small pension plus regular CPP and Old Age pension which is only $540 a month. Better than nothing. So, I am down a little over $1200 a month from what was not even a full wage. Sigh. Now I am so limited that I couldn’t afford to keep a car even if I had one. I could not afford the insurance, fuel or maintenance. I am not complaining about my status. It is meant to be. I am just grateful for what I do have: wonderful family, good friends, and the love of now only one wonderful cat. My dear little friend Thomas (black and white cat) died in my arms last Wednesday. It was a violent death - he vomited a pool of blood and wailed. I gathered him in my arms and phoned my vet. She and her assistant made an immediate house call, put in an IV and gave him the lethal mix to stop his wee heart. He was in my arms the entire time so for that I am grateful. I was sobbing uncontrollably. I was covered in blood and he also peed and pooed on me towards the end while we were waiting for the vet. Just after the vet arrived, my friend Peter (human) arrived. As soon as Dr. Jenner proclaimed Thomas dead and removed his wee body from my arms, Peter took me in his arms and just let me cry. What a lovely friend he is. He is a German immigrant journeyman house painter / decorator. Around Christmas two years ago he put out 1600 certificates (slipped into our local paper) and I was the only one who called and had him give an estimate. It was low so I had him paint my bedroom. He did such a wonderful job of that, I then had him paint the rest of the main floor. He seemed to like me and started dropping in to say hi. He now comes over several times a week just to check on me. Anyway, he had already visited me last Wednesday. He had popped in about half an hour before Thomas vomited. He stayed about five minutes and then left to run a couple of errands and then go to his work on the other side of the lake. As he was about to cross the bridge he suddenly had this urgent feeling that I needed him and I needed him right then. He swung his vehicle around and returned. I know that Heavenly Father sent the message to him to come to me. I am so very grateful. I was distraught and overcome with grief. I had prepared myself for the passing of Thomas but I thought it would be another day or so. Then it just happened so fast and violently.... I was not prepared for that. I am fine now. I know that Thomas is in a better place. Probably enjoying himself truly for the first time. He was sick all of his life but still lived for 13 years so that is pretty good. He vomited nearly every day - sometimes two or three times a day. But in spite of his problems he was a happy cat. He taught me to meet each day with a smile even though I might be in pain. He was very special to me and I miss him. Because he is no longer with me I should be able to get my house clean and keep it that way. Thomas was forever throwing up and I couldn't keep up with it. I will also now be able to have a houseplant or two and flowers in the house from time to time (Thomas would always eat plants and flowers and get violently sick). So, there are benefits for me and I am going to accept these and move on. I would undo it if I could but I feel at peace. Cole (my black cat) was there with me and saw his friend pass. He came up to Thomas, gently butted heads and sniffed his dead body. He sighs now and then but is otherwise fine. Well, I am getting very tired (it is 3:40 A.M.) and my fingers are numb with cold. I can barely manage to type. My fingers and toes are numb and really get cold. Poor circulation due to diabetes I suspect. Also I have been diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome in both wrists and advised to have surgery. I am using braces instead and that seems to help somewhat. Just have to keep on truckin’. Until next time adieu and thank you for checking in on me.